Balancing Motherhood & Self-Care: It's OK to Take Time for You

By Melannie Laya

The idea of practicing self-care as a mom can often be perceived as selfish because you are managing so many other responsibilities that the idea of taking a break seems unfathomable.  Self-care doesn’t have to be a complicated 10-step routine as it is often depicted, there are a myriad of ways to practice self-care that make all the difference in managing postpartum depression. All new moms want to be the best possible mom for their baby, and the key to this is taking care of yourself.

Why is Self-Care Important?

Improved Mental Health

Engaging in self-care can help mitigate postpartum depression and reduce the risk of burnout. With all the responsibilities moms face, taking time throughout the day to practice self-care can help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. 

Improved Physical Health

Our physical health is strongly connected to our mental health. By taking steps to help cope with the stressors that come with being a new mom, health benefits include better digestion, improved immune function, higher energy levels, and greater cardiovascular health. 

Improved Family Relationships

By taking care of yourself, you’re able to take better care of your baby. Engaging in self-care will allow you to feel more present when you spend time with your child and can facilitate a stronger maternal bond. 

Setting Up Healthy Models for Your Children

By making self-care a priority and regular practice in your life, you are setting the foundation to model what self-care is for your children. 

13 Self-Care Ideas for New Moms 

1.      It’s Okay to Ask for Help – Just because you have been doing things alone doesn’t mean you have to. Many moms don’t ask for help because of the guilt and stigma that comes with accepting that postpartum is overwhelming.

2.      Practice Deep Breathing – When it seems like you just can’t manage to take a break throughout the day, taking 4 deep breaths can help lower your heart rate and act as a reset for when you're feeling overwhelmed.

3.      Stay Hydrated – It can be easy to forget to take a sip of water periodically throughout the day. Dehydration can leave you feeling tired, irritated, dizzy, and confused. Dehydration can also cause headaches. Additionally, if you are breastfeeding, staying hydrated is key so your body can continue producing milk.

4.      Practice Intuitive Eating – Your body knows what it needs to help you function. Eat what makes you feel good.  Research shows that intuitive easing was correlated with higher diet quality and greater body image satisfaction (Gao et al., 2024).

5.      Take Naps – Sometimes sleeping feels selfish because you get caught up in unhelpful thoughts that you could use that time to do more productive things. But sleep is a productive activity! When you sleep, your body is working towards recovery. Taking a quick nap can tremendously help your brain and body to function to the best of their abilities.

6.      Go on Walks – Whether you take a walk by yourself or an outdoor stroll with your baby, this is a great way to incorporate some light exercise into your day and get some fresh air. Spending time outdoors can help to restore our attention so that we are better able to focus and plan our day.

7.      Limit Time on Social Media – While social media can be a great tool to learn new resources or tips for caring for your baby, it can also be a space for comparison and mom guilt. Social media can push unrealistic expectations of how postpartum should look like. Just know, you are doing the best you can with the resources you have right now.

8.      Be Patient with Yourself – Like with all things, motherhood comes with a learning curve. Give yourself the space to make mistakes and learn what works for you on this journey.

9.      Set Your Boundaries – Many moms don’t ask for help because of difficulties setting boundaries with others. When it comes to raising your baby, you have every right to decide what you are comfortable with and what your limits are. No is a full sentence.

10.      Get a Mommy Massage – Prenatal massages can help promote relaxation and relieve some of the fears and anxieties about childbirth. They can help relieve some of the aches and pains associated with pregnancy and improve circulation by helping lymphatic drainage. Postnatal massages can help relieve pain after childbirth. Additionally, research shows that postnatal massages helped to decrease cortisol levels which was correlated with lower rates of postpartum depression (Field, 2010)

11.      Reach out to Friends and Family – As people, we crave social connections. Whether it’s a quick phone call or planning time to meet in person, reaching out to loved ones can be incredibly helpful.

12.      Practicing Self-Compassion – It is easy to get caught up in comparing your parenting style and baby milestones to that of other parents. Just remember that you are doing the absolute best you can with the resources you have on hand. Finding positive affirmations or mantras that remind you of your strength and power can be a great tool to remind you that you are a good parent.

13.      Seek Mental Health Counseling – Finding a mental health counselor near you who specializes in maternal mental health can help you feel supported and give you the tools needed to cope with this new chapter of your life. With telehealth rising in popularity after the pandemic, you could see a counselor virtually in your own home.

Conclusion

With the unrealistic societal expectations put on new moms, self-care may be impossible. Truly, self-care is flexible and it is whatever helps your physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. Finding ways to incorporate self-care into your day can immensely impact your physical and mental health.

Balancing motherhood and postpartum depression and anxiety can be tough. Here at Xen Family Therapy, we are here to help you through these challenging times. We provide couples counseling, individual counseling, and postpartum group therapy. 

If you are looking for a maternal mental health therapist, feel free to book a consultation with us whenever the time feels right for you. 

Additionally, call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262 for extra support. 

Reference

Gao, X. xia, Zheng, Q. xiang, Chen, X. qian, Jiang, X. min, Liao, Y. ping, Pan, Y. qing, Zou, J. jing, & Liu, G. (2024). Intuitive eating was associated with anxiety, depression, pregnancy weight and blood glucose in women with gestational diabetes mellitus: a prospective longitudinal study. Frontiers in Nutrition, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnut.2024.1409025

Field T. (2010). Pregnancy and labor massage. Expert review of obstetrics & gynecology, 5(2), 177–181. https://doi.org/10.1586/eog.10.12